Tuesday, 30 April 2013

He's decided he is ready

On Saturday night Anees announced that he was not going to drink a bottie anymore. Yes you read right! He's 4 years and 2 months old and still enjoyed a bottie of warm milk before he went to bed and another on waking in the morning. I've always adopted a passive approach to all things attachment and comfort related. Hence I breastfed both boys until they were 18 months old. We co slept and still do so. I'm not one for 'crying it out'. I'd hate for someone to take something dear away from me and then just leave me to cry about it.

Anees sucked his dummy until close to his 4th birthday. My attempt to take it away from him earlier was unsuccessful. I succumbed to pressure and bribed/motivated him with a Hot Wheels Car set. Somehow he thought he was ready too.

I told you tales of the 'dummy fairy' who took your dummy to other babies who needed it. You retold the story to others but i could see that you weren't really buying it! The enticement of the cars kept you happy during the day but night times were hell. You went from sleeping through to waking 2 to 3 times. Not just waking but crying in the middle of the night, whining and clingy. After 2 weeks, against everybody's advice, I decided to give it back to you. I'll never forget the smile on your face! You said 'Mom, I missed my dummy. My heart is so happy now' . I cried that day. Cried because I tried to force you to do something you weren't ready for. I vowed never to do that to you again. I vowed to let you listen to your intuition and let you do things at your own pace.

You were teased about your dummy and made to feel ashamed of it. It infuriated me. I tried to tell you that you should just be who you are even if people tease you. You need to put yourself first and do what you are comfortable with. If you are happy sucking your dummy people need to accept you for it.

You eventually bit a hole in it. You then decided to throw it in the bin. That was that! You asked for it and then said ' oh the dirt truck took it' There were no tears, no sadness in your eyes this time. You were ready to let go of it and I was proud of you.

We were lying in bed this morning and I asked you if we should throw the botties away and you said yes! I'll hold onto them just in case you change your mind because you are allowed to. I hope you learn to always be true to yourself. That's the one thing I admire and envy most in your Dad. He doesn't conform, he is who he is. I hope you'll learn that from him.

Kids are naturally intuitive. We should teach them to listen to their gut feelings, I think it would make them happier as adults, more confident and more fulfilled too.

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