Food for thought...The Enneagram

Anees attends My World in Parkwood. They offer parent workshops during the course of the year. The February workshop was held by life coach Michelle Bennets. She presented on the enneagram. She is a lively and dynamic speaker. We left the workshop empowered and our communication levels have never been better. We understand each others personality types and core motivations so we are better able to empathise with each other and understand why each responds to situations in a specific way.

This site is worth checking out: The Enneagram Personality System

Its a fun thing for couples to look at together. You can help identify each others personality types and i have no doubt it will enhance your relationship.

I'm a Type 6 . Once I understood the Enneagram it gave me insight as to why I had made certain decisions in my life. It certainly opened up my eyes to a whole new perspective on how i understand myself and the people around me.

Have fun.

My giggle for the day

I remember the days when we were dating. We'd do silly little things to express our love and devotion. Zaid created an entire word search puzzle once. I found it adorable. (Thats one other thing i forgot i used to enjoy) He also used to make custom cards. (Being a creative in the ad industry helps) He melted my heart when he took a pic of his 5110 and e mailed it to me. The message on the screen read 'Happy Birthday My Queen' I'll never forget that! I still have a copy of it.

Boys I hope you too are as creative and romantic as Dad. (Sorry babes hope I'm not ruining your street cred! ;))

Sometimes when you're all grown up you tend to forget to show the people around you that you care and appreciate them.

Zaid is busy watching the soccer so this is what I got up to. I loved the smile it brought to his face and the little giggle that we shared.

It's about quality not quantity

So I awoke to more whining and fighting this morning. When the boys get like this it puts me in a 'funk'. I find myself pining over care free pre-kids days when spontaneity was the order of the day. When we could just be and not worry about how our actions are moulding personalities that might or might not end up having issues as adults one day.

When I'm feeling this way I know it's best to keep my interactions with the boys to a minimum. I prefer to retreat to my safe haven in my head where I don't have to be teaching them to share or shouting at them for fighting. If I spend an hour with them today without any shouting then my mission is accomplished. I know my limits these days. I know when I need to withdraw before I become that mother that is grumpy and would rather be somewhere else.

I'm so glad that I'll be at work for a full day tomorrow. I've even rewarded myself with a day off work so I can indulge in all things Nasima. Thursday will be 'Me Day'

By Friday I should be liking the monsters again. Just enough to get me through the weekend as a Happy Mom ;)

Yours truly
Nasima

Just one of those days

My job is emotionally taxing. I have patients booked back to back every 30 mins and each person requires something different of me emotionally. Not only do I need to provide a good service I also need to have a good bedside manner so that I can create a good rapport with them. Some of them are easy going and some just literally suck the life out of me. They walk in with a brick wall around them and a negative energy that permeates my surgery and drains me.

I leave work most days happy. I love what I do. It's challenging and rewarding. Some days I just leave there not wanting to engage with anyone else. Well this poses a problem as I have 2 kids you see. Anees talks non stop once he gets in the car. The fighting starts when we walk in the door. Rameez has a few new toys and as you can imagine the one wants what the other touches and vice versa. It's enough to just make me want to scream and actually wish that I was still at work. So I watch the clock anxiously waiting for 6pm when Zaid walks through the door and I can escape to the gym.

I remember watching the clock when I was on maternity leave with Anees too. Being couped up with a baby all day drove me insane. Yes they're cute and all that but I'm a verbal person and would much rather have you tell me what you want then try to decipher your needs by your different cries. I don't do the 'baby stage' well. With Anees I took 6 months maternity leave and with Rameez 4 months. I've decided that 2 months will be sufficient with the next child. LOL.

A patient of mine is pregnant with her 5th child. I'm happy for her but I feel physically and violently ill if I have to think of myself pregnant 5 times. Why the need to have 5 children? I don't understand. A family with 2 kids feels complete. If I had my pigeon pair I think our family would be complete. There is an equal parent to child ratio and things are manageable. The only reason we want a 3rd is because of my yearning for a daughter. When we got married we initially wanted 4 kids. That was until we had 1 and then 2 and then realized how much work they are.

There I said it. Sometimes it feels like work.(No, I lie! Its actually easier to be at work, amongst adults) They're asleep now. Thank Goodness. Lets hope tomorrow is a better day for all of us ;)

A Prayer

Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despair overcome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted me in the desolation of other times.

May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking over the silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quiet river, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early God to have courage amid the tempests of the changing years.

Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguarded moments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit.

Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions be such as shall keep me friendly with myself.

Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of the stars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself.

Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in my path.

Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep ever burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope.

And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not within sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful for life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; and may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.


By Max Ehrmann

More birthday love

Birthdays are never just one day celebrations with us. We celebrate as a foursome and then with the family and Anees has a party at school too.




Rameez isn't at school yet, so he had a small celebration on his actual birthday. The day starts with us decorating a small cake and then singing and having cake for breakfast. What better way to start your birthday(especially if you're a cake-a-holic like Rameez) We then like to watch the video or look at photos of the day the boys were born. I always love the fascination on their faces as we look through old photos and I love the conversation that ensues as we discuss the day. Rameez was thrilled with his chocolate cake that 'I made self'. He giggled everytime we blew out the candles. We probably had to do it like 10 times. There was more requests for blowing out the candle when I got home from work and I was more than happy to oblige.

Today we spent the day with all the family. What a lovely day. The highlight for Rameez was definitely his Teletubbies cake baked with love by Gran. The look of sheer excitement on his face when he saw the cake was priceless. He kept wanting to taste it so we put it high up on the ledge and while we ate lunch we caught him just staring at it longingly.

Me and my nieces

The family feels quite big, when we're all together we're a rowdy bunch. It's always nice to have everybody together at the same time. We might not see each other often but every effort is made to get together for someone's birthday.

Cousins

Familia

Taz and Deen

Anees we are very proud of you for letting Rameez enjoy the limelight. You are already counting down to your next birthday which is almost a year away. We just love how you are such a kind brother that you are willing to share all Rameez's birthday toys with him. LOL.

Rameez you looked like you had an absolute ball! Your wish for 'cake and toys' was most certainly fulfilled.

Love Mom

Who are you and what have you done with Nasima?

It was a cold, wet gloomy day in Jozi. It's been raining since yesterday. I awoke this morning to the sound of a steady flow of rain on the window. I thought ok I'm not going to gym. A second later I knew I would later regret my decision. So I jumped outta bed and got ready and went to gym.

It was an amazing session. 75 min spin class with one of my favourite instructors Lynette. It's the kind of session where there's sweat dripping off your face and body. You leave the gym drenched and damn does it feel good. It's the perfect way to start your day especially in winter when the cold air is a welcome relief.

I wasn't always this gym bunny. In high school I wasn't athletic but I did participate in sports. Namely netball and volleyball. When I left school gym was the last thing on my mind.

After Uni when I started working I joined the gym purely to avoid traffic! Work was 45 kms from home and this journey could take up to 2 hours in traffic. So I went to gym after work and got home in an hour.I can't say that I thoroughly enjoyed it though, it was fun but I hardly ever worked up a major sweat or felt my heart racing.

In the throes of my depression I would get frustrated when people told me 'oh why don't you just excercise you'll feel better'. I didnt want to exercise. Yes I'd heard all the stories about the endorphins and feel good chemicals blah blah blah. But I hated the treadmill, it's kinda like running nowhere slowly. I remember having a conversation with Natasha about whether a healthy mind or a healthy body comes first. I couldn't figure it out. My mind certainly wasn't healthy and as a result my body didnt feel healthy either. I felt tired all the time and sluggish.

A visit to the Gynea was an eye opener for me. I had the shock of my life when I stood on the scale. Certainly I can't weigh that much! I realized an intervention was necessary. So off I went to join the gym. I knew I hated the treadmill and all those other ghastly cardiovascular machines. On my first trip to the gym I tried a spinning class and I was hooked immediately! The evening classes are intense. The lights are off and there's music and nothing else exists except yourself and the bike. For the first time in years my mind actually completely shut down. You have the benefit of a 'group' class but at the same time you're actually going at your own pace, the added bonus of a yummy spinning instructor, to motivate you, was the cherry on the cake for me.

I set myself a 12 week spinning challenge in Jan this year. I had to go to gym 6 days a week for 12 weeks. It was more to test my mental strength than anything else. Much to my surprise I was and still am amazed at how much fitter and stronger I felt after each class. Much to my delight I've managed to lose 7kgs. So now I know that a healthy mind and a healthy body go hand in hand. I'm going to gym now because I actually enjoy it. I never in a million years thought that those words would come out of my mouth! Lol!

I've already decided that my next challenge will be to run a 5 or 10 km race. Will keep you updated on that!

I've never felt fitter or healthier in my life. I don't just mean physically I mean mentally too. I'm actually considering cutting the umbilical cord by not seeing Natasha anymore. The blogging is cathartic for me and the exercise can be my new form of therapy. (Will see how this pans out)

My body is my temple. I finally get it.

Toodles