It's about quality not quantity

So I awoke to more whining and fighting this morning. When the boys get like this it puts me in a 'funk'. I find myself pining over care free pre-kids days when spontaneity was the order of the day. When we could just be and not worry about how our actions are moulding personalities that might or might not end up having issues as adults one day.

When I'm feeling this way I know it's best to keep my interactions with the boys to a minimum. I prefer to retreat to my safe haven in my head where I don't have to be teaching them to share or shouting at them for fighting. If I spend an hour with them today without any shouting then my mission is accomplished. I know my limits these days. I know when I need to withdraw before I become that mother that is grumpy and would rather be somewhere else.

I'm so glad that I'll be at work for a full day tomorrow. I've even rewarded myself with a day off work so I can indulge in all things Nasima. Thursday will be 'Me Day'

By Friday I should be liking the monsters again. Just enough to get me through the weekend as a Happy Mom ;)

Yours truly
Nasima

Just one of those days

My job is emotionally taxing. I have patients booked back to back every 30 mins and each person requires something different of me emotionally. Not only do I need to provide a good service I also need to have a good bedside manner so that I can create a good rapport with them. Some of them are easy going and some just literally suck the life out of me. They walk in with a brick wall around them and a negative energy that permeates my surgery and drains me.

I leave work most days happy. I love what I do. It's challenging and rewarding. Some days I just leave there not wanting to engage with anyone else. Well this poses a problem as I have 2 kids you see. Anees talks non stop once he gets in the car. The fighting starts when we walk in the door. Rameez has a few new toys and as you can imagine the one wants what the other touches and vice versa. It's enough to just make me want to scream and actually wish that I was still at work. So I watch the clock anxiously waiting for 6pm when Zaid walks through the door and I can escape to the gym.

I remember watching the clock when I was on maternity leave with Anees too. Being couped up with a baby all day drove me insane. Yes they're cute and all that but I'm a verbal person and would much rather have you tell me what you want then try to decipher your needs by your different cries. I don't do the 'baby stage' well. With Anees I took 6 months maternity leave and with Rameez 4 months. I've decided that 2 months will be sufficient with the next child. LOL.

A patient of mine is pregnant with her 5th child. I'm happy for her but I feel physically and violently ill if I have to think of myself pregnant 5 times. Why the need to have 5 children? I don't understand. A family with 2 kids feels complete. If I had my pigeon pair I think our family would be complete. There is an equal parent to child ratio and things are manageable. The only reason we want a 3rd is because of my yearning for a daughter. When we got married we initially wanted 4 kids. That was until we had 1 and then 2 and then realized how much work they are.

There I said it. Sometimes it feels like work.(No, I lie! Its actually easier to be at work, amongst adults) They're asleep now. Thank Goodness. Lets hope tomorrow is a better day for all of us ;)