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Thursday, 2 May 2013
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
Happy Days
You boys are being so nice to each other. I overheard a conversation between the 2 of you yesterday.
Rameez : Please open the crayons
Anees: Here you go my brother
Rameez: Thank you Anees
Anees: My pleasure
I couldn't believe my ears. My heart swelled with pride. You boys can be polite and good when you wanna be. Fikile says you boys never fight when you're with her. I'm assuming the fighting is a call for my attention.
Dad had some stuff to do around the house today. He didnt need little helpers so I decided to take the 2 of you out for the morning.I was anxious wondering if I would manage. Rameez you're quite adventurous and free spirited,as you should be. It's just difficult to keep up with you especially since you don't want to sit in your pram.
I had some errands to run but Anees managed to persuade me otherwise! We ended up at Serendipity.
Serendipity is not as busy or big as the other kid friendly places. It's intimate and has lots of helpers to give a guiding hand should you need help up the jungle gym or trampoline. The dress up area is well stocked with costumes to fulfill any child's fantasies. Anees chose Batman. (Of course, he's obsessed with superheroes and good guys and bad guys)
I enjoyed some time in the sun, walking barefoot with you guys, indulging in your fantasies and remembering what it's like to have not a care in the world.
Chocolate was the order of the day! Chocolate milkshake and chocolate covered crumpets too!
I love you boys.
Rameez : Please open the crayons
Anees: Here you go my brother
Rameez: Thank you Anees
Anees: My pleasure
I couldn't believe my ears. My heart swelled with pride. You boys can be polite and good when you wanna be. Fikile says you boys never fight when you're with her. I'm assuming the fighting is a call for my attention.
Dad had some stuff to do around the house today. He didnt need little helpers so I decided to take the 2 of you out for the morning.I was anxious wondering if I would manage. Rameez you're quite adventurous and free spirited,as you should be. It's just difficult to keep up with you especially since you don't want to sit in your pram.
I had some errands to run but Anees managed to persuade me otherwise! We ended up at Serendipity.
Serendipity is not as busy or big as the other kid friendly places. It's intimate and has lots of helpers to give a guiding hand should you need help up the jungle gym or trampoline. The dress up area is well stocked with costumes to fulfill any child's fantasies. Anees chose Batman. (Of course, he's obsessed with superheroes and good guys and bad guys)
I enjoyed some time in the sun, walking barefoot with you guys, indulging in your fantasies and remembering what it's like to have not a care in the world.
Chocolate was the order of the day! Chocolate milkshake and chocolate covered crumpets too!
I love you boys.
He's decided he is ready
On Saturday night Anees announced that he was not going to drink a bottie anymore. Yes you read right! He's 4 years and 2 months old and still enjoyed a bottie of warm milk before he went to bed and another on waking in the morning. I've always adopted a passive approach to all things attachment and comfort related. Hence I breastfed both boys until they were 18 months old. We co slept and still do so. I'm not one for 'crying it out'. I'd hate for someone to take something dear away from me and then just leave me to cry about it.
Anees sucked his dummy until close to his 4th birthday. My attempt to take it away from him earlier was unsuccessful. I succumbed to pressure and bribed/motivated him with a Hot Wheels Car set. Somehow he thought he was ready too.
I told you tales of the 'dummy fairy' who took your dummy to other babies who needed it. You retold the story to others but i could see that you weren't really buying it! The enticement of the cars kept you happy during the day but night times were hell. You went from sleeping through to waking 2 to 3 times. Not just waking but crying in the middle of the night, whining and clingy. After 2 weeks, against everybody's advice, I decided to give it back to you. I'll never forget the smile on your face! You said 'Mom, I missed my dummy. My heart is so happy now' . I cried that day. Cried because I tried to force you to do something you weren't ready for. I vowed never to do that to you again. I vowed to let you listen to your intuition and let you do things at your own pace.
You were teased about your dummy and made to feel ashamed of it. It infuriated me. I tried to tell you that you should just be who you are even if people tease you. You need to put yourself first and do what you are comfortable with. If you are happy sucking your dummy people need to accept you for it.
You eventually bit a hole in it. You then decided to throw it in the bin. That was that! You asked for it and then said ' oh the dirt truck took it' There were no tears, no sadness in your eyes this time. You were ready to let go of it and I was proud of you.
We were lying in bed this morning and I asked you if we should throw the botties away and you said yes! I'll hold onto them just in case you change your mind because you are allowed to. I hope you learn to always be true to yourself. That's the one thing I admire and envy most in your Dad. He doesn't conform, he is who he is. I hope you'll learn that from him.
Kids are naturally intuitive. We should teach them to listen to their gut feelings, I think it would make them happier as adults, more confident and more fulfilled too.
Anees sucked his dummy until close to his 4th birthday. My attempt to take it away from him earlier was unsuccessful. I succumbed to pressure and bribed/motivated him with a Hot Wheels Car set. Somehow he thought he was ready too.
I told you tales of the 'dummy fairy' who took your dummy to other babies who needed it. You retold the story to others but i could see that you weren't really buying it! The enticement of the cars kept you happy during the day but night times were hell. You went from sleeping through to waking 2 to 3 times. Not just waking but crying in the middle of the night, whining and clingy. After 2 weeks, against everybody's advice, I decided to give it back to you. I'll never forget the smile on your face! You said 'Mom, I missed my dummy. My heart is so happy now' . I cried that day. Cried because I tried to force you to do something you weren't ready for. I vowed never to do that to you again. I vowed to let you listen to your intuition and let you do things at your own pace.
You were teased about your dummy and made to feel ashamed of it. It infuriated me. I tried to tell you that you should just be who you are even if people tease you. You need to put yourself first and do what you are comfortable with. If you are happy sucking your dummy people need to accept you for it.
You eventually bit a hole in it. You then decided to throw it in the bin. That was that! You asked for it and then said ' oh the dirt truck took it' There were no tears, no sadness in your eyes this time. You were ready to let go of it and I was proud of you.
We were lying in bed this morning and I asked you if we should throw the botties away and you said yes! I'll hold onto them just in case you change your mind because you are allowed to. I hope you learn to always be true to yourself. That's the one thing I admire and envy most in your Dad. He doesn't conform, he is who he is. I hope you'll learn that from him.
Kids are naturally intuitive. We should teach them to listen to their gut feelings, I think it would make them happier as adults, more confident and more fulfilled too.
Monday, 29 April 2013
Happiness
To be without desire is to be content.
But contentment is not happiness.
And in contentment there is no progress.
Happiness is to desire something, to work for it, and to obtain at least a part of it.
In the pursuit of beloved labor the busy days pass cheerfully employed, and still nights in peaceful sleep.
For labor born of desire is not drudgery, but manly play.
Success brings hope, hope inspires fresh desire, and desire gives zest to life and joy to labor.
This is true whether your days be spent in the palaces of the powerful or in some little green by-way of the world.
Therefore, while yet you have the strength, cherish a desire to do some useful work in your little corner of the world, and have the steadfastness to labor.
For this is the way to the happy life; with health and endearing ties, it is the way to the glorious life.
Max Ehrmann
Happy Monday!!!
But contentment is not happiness.
And in contentment there is no progress.
Happiness is to desire something, to work for it, and to obtain at least a part of it.
In the pursuit of beloved labor the busy days pass cheerfully employed, and still nights in peaceful sleep.
For labor born of desire is not drudgery, but manly play.
Success brings hope, hope inspires fresh desire, and desire gives zest to life and joy to labor.
This is true whether your days be spent in the palaces of the powerful or in some little green by-way of the world.
Therefore, while yet you have the strength, cherish a desire to do some useful work in your little corner of the world, and have the steadfastness to labor.
For this is the way to the happy life; with health and endearing ties, it is the way to the glorious life.
Max Ehrmann
Happy Monday!!!
Sunday, 28 April 2013
Mishky Moo
I don't think I spend enough time alone with Rameez. Yesterday I was alone with him for 2 hours probably for the first time since I went back to work. I have difficulty coping with both of them if I'm out of the house. If I need to go somewhere and if one of them really needs to go with then I always choose Anees. He takes instruction well and is just more fun because he's older.
Zaid took Anees to the movies yesterday. I opted to go with them and walk around with Rameez while they were in the movies. I was pleasantly surprised that I actually coped with him. (I unfortunately get less patient with each child) Not only did i cope but we had absolutely no altercations. (Yes it could be because we only looked at toys and then i gave him Niknaks for lunch;)) We had no agenda so we strolled the toy stores and Rameez was delighted. He had fun on the slides and swings in Toys 'r Us. He cuddled all the teddy bears that he could. I even let him rock the teddy bears in the baby swings that were on display. After a good 30 minutes there we went off to the next toy shop and played and looked at all the stuff there.
I was amazed at his level of understanding. He played with stuff and gladly put it back on the shelf. When I offered to buy him something he said ' I don't want that' . So we left all toy shops with not one single purchase! He only asked for chocolate and chips LOL. His diet is not the greatest at the moment. A staple diet of strawberry pops, fish fingers, toasted cheese and cake doesn't sound nutritious at all! I can't recall if Anees went through this phase too. I'm hoping as they say that 'this too shall pass' ;)
Rameez, I promise from this day forward to make a concerted effort to spend more time alone with you.
Love Mom
The photo taken below is courtesy of Rameez. Lol
Zaid took Anees to the movies yesterday. I opted to go with them and walk around with Rameez while they were in the movies. I was pleasantly surprised that I actually coped with him. (I unfortunately get less patient with each child) Not only did i cope but we had absolutely no altercations. (Yes it could be because we only looked at toys and then i gave him Niknaks for lunch;)) We had no agenda so we strolled the toy stores and Rameez was delighted. He had fun on the slides and swings in Toys 'r Us. He cuddled all the teddy bears that he could. I even let him rock the teddy bears in the baby swings that were on display. After a good 30 minutes there we went off to the next toy shop and played and looked at all the stuff there.
I was amazed at his level of understanding. He played with stuff and gladly put it back on the shelf. When I offered to buy him something he said ' I don't want that' . So we left all toy shops with not one single purchase! He only asked for chocolate and chips LOL. His diet is not the greatest at the moment. A staple diet of strawberry pops, fish fingers, toasted cheese and cake doesn't sound nutritious at all! I can't recall if Anees went through this phase too. I'm hoping as they say that 'this too shall pass' ;)
Rameez, I promise from this day forward to make a concerted effort to spend more time alone with you.
Love Mom
The photo taken below is courtesy of Rameez. Lol
Thursday, 25 April 2013
Didnt know this would all come back to me so vividly
Yesterday I visited a friend who had just given birth. The baby boy is 2 weeks old. Holding him took me right back to when the boys were little. I really don't do the baby stage well. Holding him brought back all my feelings of inadequacy as a first time mom. I did not know what to do to help soothe their discomfort. It left me feeling frustrated and disappointed in myself. I struggled to bond with both my boys.
I didnt feel an ounce of broodiness as I held him. I was eager to pass him back to his mom. I wondered how I had managed to cope in those lonely days of maternity leave. Thats what it felt like for me, lonely.I remember the silence in our house being deafening. I remember feeling like a cow. Lol. I remember longing to be amongst adult company. Longing to talk about something other than how the breastfeeding was going or how many soiled diapers there were during the day.
I remember watching the clock for when Zaid would get home.
I remember feeling like something must be wrong with me because here I was with this beautiful baby boy yet things didnt feel right. I wasn't feeling all fuzzy and warm and giddy inside like I was supposed to. That added to my loneliness. I couldn't tell anyone I felt this way. What would they think of me?
As I type this tears come to my eyes because it all feels like it was just yesterday.
"You look at me like I'm normal,
But inside I'm feeling scared,
Tonight he kept on screaming,
And tonight my anger flared.
I feel like I'm not coping,
With the jobs that motherhood brings,
I try my best to do it all,
But I can't do so many things.
I look at him sometimes playing,
And feel happy that he is my son,
But other times I can't be near him.
And don't want to join in the fun.
I feed him because I have to,
Not because it brings me joy,
I wish I didn't feel this way,
So I could appreciate my baby boy.
I'm waiting for the day I feel normal,
And everything just feels right,
Instead I'm stuck in this black hole,
Struggling to see the light."
Found this at : http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/advice-support-40/antenatal-postnatal-depression-55/499766-poem-post-natal-depression.html
I didnt feel an ounce of broodiness as I held him. I was eager to pass him back to his mom. I wondered how I had managed to cope in those lonely days of maternity leave. Thats what it felt like for me, lonely.I remember the silence in our house being deafening. I remember feeling like a cow. Lol. I remember longing to be amongst adult company. Longing to talk about something other than how the breastfeeding was going or how many soiled diapers there were during the day.
I remember watching the clock for when Zaid would get home.
I remember feeling like something must be wrong with me because here I was with this beautiful baby boy yet things didnt feel right. I wasn't feeling all fuzzy and warm and giddy inside like I was supposed to. That added to my loneliness. I couldn't tell anyone I felt this way. What would they think of me?
As I type this tears come to my eyes because it all feels like it was just yesterday.
"You look at me like I'm normal,
But inside I'm feeling scared,
Tonight he kept on screaming,
And tonight my anger flared.
I feel like I'm not coping,
With the jobs that motherhood brings,
I try my best to do it all,
But I can't do so many things.
I look at him sometimes playing,
And feel happy that he is my son,
But other times I can't be near him.
And don't want to join in the fun.
I feed him because I have to,
Not because it brings me joy,
I wish I didn't feel this way,
So I could appreciate my baby boy.
I'm waiting for the day I feel normal,
And everything just feels right,
Instead I'm stuck in this black hole,
Struggling to see the light."
Found this at : http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/advice-support-40/antenatal-postnatal-depression-55/499766-poem-post-natal-depression.html
Wednesday, 24 April 2013
Thank you Mr Photographer
I'm the sentimental type bit I've never been one to take photos. I would rather capture memories through writing. That was until Zaid came into my life. I've never truly appreciated his obsession with capturing the moment until we had the boys. Now I am eternally grateful to him. The boys love looking at old photos. Sometimes when we're bored we spend the afternoon looking at all Zaid's home videos too.
It is a source of sheer delight for the boys. Rameez is always transfixed and asks us to repeat videos over and over again! Especially the birthday videos .
I know I haven't said this to you before. Thank you babes for leaving a lifetime of memories for our boys to enjoy.
Xxx
It is a source of sheer delight for the boys. Rameez is always transfixed and asks us to repeat videos over and over again! Especially the birthday videos .
I know I haven't said this to you before. Thank you babes for leaving a lifetime of memories for our boys to enjoy.
Xxx
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